If you have a good think, there’s probably a range of things that you could insert into your own list regarding things that always destroy your summer plans. Here’s guessing however that the seven things below have most likely ended up on your own lists at one point. So have a flick through whilst sipping that cocktail- it may very well be your last.
They’re the scum of all insects. At least ants seem cute and live in some sort of a family. Flies insist on buzzing around the barbeque as if you were cooking up roadkill found on a highway strip in Indiana. As one of mother nature’s most deathly creatures, I do wonder their point of existence. They’re the typical summer nuisance and not enough fly spray in the world could get rid of the colony dwelling in my backyard. Not even our dear friend Louie the Fly could be killed with ten tins of Mortein…
Something resembling a flower with a sting like a bee, these weeds are the dread of shoeless children the country over. More ferocious than a wasp’s point, messing around in the garden was more of a torture than a treasure come summertime. Break out the weedkiller before you dare go barefoot on your own front lawn.
3. Old ‘tin-can’ trains
It’s just a shake, a rattle, a roll. That’s all there is to it for a typical ride on a K, C or V set train carriage on the Cityrail network. Tin cans until they hit the scrapyard or are transformed into a gimmicky tourist attraction in Eveleigh, these trains are noisy, airless time-sucking monsters. The asian megacities Hong Kong and Tokyo look down on Sydney’s train fleet in utter dismay, incredibly confused as to how the Fat Controller running Sydney Trains just can’t place an order for some more air-conditioned people movers. Gladys Berejiklian certainly has her work cut out for her when it comes to “fixing the trains”. Good luck, love, good luck.
Time to prepare your shopping trolley for copious amounts of Air-raid and anti-itching cream, because as the sun goes down and the moon comes up, so do a million of your worst nightmares en-masse. Mosquitoes are notoriously spiteful the world over. Blood-sucking demons known to spread malaria, they swarm underneath Australian patios and pergolas, waiting to strike with the swiftness of a ninja on steroids. Move over Edward Cullen, it’s time to mesh up the fly screens because these suckers are coming for your delicious blood.